I think to myself after I finally make the biggest leap of my life.
The first time I visited California was in 2010 with my sister, Shayna. I didn't realize at the time that the life I imagined at 20 would be completely different than the life I am living now...
2013 was a rough year to say the least. I've had many pity parties since then, but I will spare you the details. Just as I thought things were improving in 2014, the Universe had other plans. Turns out I wasn't meant to pass out medication at the local hospital or continue that high-school relationship.
The thing with nursing school is you feel like you have to start your career on a medical-surgical floor to gain broad experience. Guess what? There are so many opportunities as a nurse and not everyone is meant to work in a hospital. Mind blowing, I know. I tried. I truly tried to get that experience so I could do anything and everything. It's just not for me. Like I said, the Universe has different plans and for that, I'm grateful.
The first year of my career was well, choppy. My confidence was being beat down like a stake in the ground. I questioned if I should even be a nurse. I didn't know myself or even like myself. I just hoped something better would fall into place. That "something better" happened to be addiction nursing. Finally, I found an opportunity that was more "me". My confidence began to build as well as my curiosity for more.
I first visited San Diego in 2014. This is when I felt the "pull". As the life I imagine quickly faded, something else inside me sparked. Four years later, I took the leap and moved to California from Cape Cod, MA. Yes, it took four years to gain the courage to move. Sometimes you get something in your head that's impossible to get out. I knew if I didn't give it a chance, I would regret it forever!
I thought long and hard about the pros and cons. I tried talking myself out of it, then back into it. I cried. As much as my family didn't want me to move 3,000 miles away, they supported me. They wanted me to get whatever this is out of my system, even if it meant being in a different time zone on the other side of the country.
I planned on making this leap as a single woman with her fluffy rescue dog. I ended up in a relationship with a partner that was just as curious as me. So we packed up the dog and truck and took a road trip.
I realized that life is too short and I have to live for me. After-all, I'm not getting any younger.
So I made it. The scariest part of my life so far is no longer staring me in the face calling me a chicken. The voice saying "you won't do it" is now saying "holy shit, you did it!". It does not seem real at all- this is still very new. And now that I'm here I'm wondering, now what?
What is the next fear I'm going to face? What did I came all this way for? To be honest I'm scared shitless. Petrified, actually. Yet, what I fear most is not living my fullest potential.
I'm scared that fear will get in my way again. How can I shift the fear of the unknown into excitement? So I'll let the Universe do its thing. I will be open to accept what is in store for me and not doubt my path. Remember how hard I worked to resist the inevitable? I'll try not to let that happen again. What I thought were disappointments were not disappointments at all, they were just steering me in the right direction. My passion for helping others remains.
I may not feel totally ready for another big leap, but if it's right in front of me, I won't let it pass me by.
So we take risks in hopes for something better. The neat part is there will always be more leaps to jump and fears to face. I'll never be done because what would I do once I become that fullest version of myself?!
I'll always have goals and dreams to strive for.
I'll always reach for more and won't settle for ordinary.
I'll always be a student of this life.
Being scared isn't a bad thing. Not facing fears is riskier than stepping up to the plate and swinging the bat with all your might.
Let go of the young, scared you and show the world what you have to offer.
Jamie Giannetti now lives in San Diego with her boyfriend, Anthony, and dog, Champ. She is a nurse coordinator at a mental health facility. As a teenager, she knew she wanted to help others and became a certified nursing assistant. After high school she went on to become a registered nurse. She received her bachelor's degree at UMass Boston in 2012. She then moved back to Cape Cod to be near family while she gained experiencing in the nursing field. She believes that healing and recovery has to do with more than just medicine. She values the emotional, spiritual and holistic perspectives and is passionate about personal-growth. Jamie has been the guest teacher for Shayna's creativity portions at her Hope & Peace Retreats. She is also dedicated to helping animals. She has volunteered for PAWS New England- traveling to pick up rescue dogs to be adopted rather than euthanized. She also loves nature, yoga, painting, traveling and making people laugh, even if it's at her own expense.