58 Periods I Didn’t Want/ Part 1: Negative Tests
I have written this blog post in my head over and over and feel it's finally time to put it into words to share....
My mission is to give women hope through anxiety so they can find peace and purpose within. I feel it is important for me to share about my own personal struggles because life is full of ups and downs. It’s super helpful to know you’re not alone during difficult times.
Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle to get/stay pregnant? I didn’t until my husband/high school sweetheart and I became one of those statistics.
Our fertility journey has taught me SO much over the past 5 years. I’ve learned about my own body, relationships, faith, life and more.
I have read many articles about women who never gave up and were finally pregnant. It helped to keep me hopeful even though it was hard to still be on the “unpregnant/childless” side of things. This is why it's even more important for me to share my story.
Of course I wish myself and others didn’t have to struggle, but I can’t imagine how my life would be if I hadn't gone through that experience. I feel like an entirely different person-with more compassion, hope and deeper relationships. I have had the most vulnerable moments and learned to focus on the important things. My self-care is a main priority, as well as my family and friends.
There have been times where I felt so deeply heartbroken and unsure of my next steps.
But then there would be a sign of hope somehow, someway, that would push me to not give up.
One thing I have always known about my life is that I would be a mom. As a little girl, I loved playing house with my sister and pretending to be a mom with my baby dolls. I started babysitting at a young age and then took child development courses through high school and college. I spent a ton of time around children until I got married and focused on our growing businesses.
10 months after our magical wedding in 2012, I decided to stop taking my birth control pills, because I knew it could take up to a year for my hormones to regulate. We just thought we would "see what happens".
We felt we were doing everything we were "supposed" to do in life: graduated, adopted a dog, working hard, saving to buy a home, marriage...
Want to know what happened next?
And no pregnancy.
That year, I saw a psychic who told me I would struggle to get pregnant like my mom had, but I didn’t think much about it. (My mom had surgery for endometriosis before getting pregnant with me.)
After over a year of trying, I started to get curious, yet I didn't really talk to others about it. It felt too personal and I was a little ashamed. I was a woman after all and pregnancy is kind of what our bodies are made for...
And I was still hoping to surprise my family and friends with good news.
Before this, I had already significantly changed my eating habits after becoming a holistic health coach. I started doing yoga, lost 20 lbs, removed all toxic cleaning and personal care products, and tried to reduce my stress while growing two businesses simultaneously. I wasn’t new to the holistic-side of things, but I guess I needed to do more… I was only 27 and appeared healthy, so wondered if there was something deeper going on.
I tracked my periods and although it came monthly, it was every 34ish days, compared to the normal 28. I started studying more about hormonal health, fertility, nutrition, etc. I ate even healthier. I also had digestive issues (bloating and constipation) for years, but no doctors seemed concerned about it.
What I tried:
Ayurvedic herbs and diet
You name it, I freaking tried it.
And spent thousands of dollars.
But guess what? Still no pregnancy.
What the f***?
But, I was learning a ton more than I ever thought I would.
(Side story: I was recently at an event and someone I know who is also into health/wellness had heard I struggled to get pregnant and questioned why I didn’t just eat healthier. I had to smile and hold back saying, “Don’t you think I tried that, lady?!” But I now know things are sometimes deeper than people understand. I used to also believe nutrition could change everything, but it doesn’t always work that way.)
There is a lot more to this story and I don’t want to overwhelm you, so 3 more parts are available below. I will be sharing the testing and treatment and then what led to our pregnancy years later.
Thank you for reading and I hope this blog series gives you hope to never give up, no matter what you're going through.
Any advice or recommendations shared here is for informational purposes only. I am not a doctor and each person is very unique so this is not to diagnose or treat you. However, if you would like to connect one on one, I offer a free phone consultation to give you a sense of hope and some tools to help you move forward on your journey.
P.P.S. Continue reading:
Part 3: Light at the End of the Tunnel