Is life supposed to be easy?
I am all about positive affirmations, kind thoughts and staying hopeful. I meditate, pray, visualize, set intentions, journal, look for signs, and try to share inspiring messages every day. I value the idea that we can dream, manifest and create a life that is flowing effortlessly with love, gratitude and success.
I typically don’t believe in a victimhood mindset. I used to be someone who constantly complained about being tired, not feeling well, being broke and in a state of overwhelm. I was stuck, but I made the decision in my 20’s to do something about it and I haven’t looked back...
I soon realized that I could change an experience by how I chose to deal with it.
“It’s not the situation, but whether we react negative or respond positive to the situation that is positive”. ~Zig Zigler
I do believe life is what we make it. Well, for the most part anyway.
There are times when life just feels hard. Sometimes it feels like you get kicked down and as soon as you get the courage and strength to stand back up, you get kicked down again.
Life feels especially difficult when we are putting ourselves out there, taking risks and opening our hearts.
I think if life is too easy, it means you aren’t doing much to grow, connect and progress.
Yes, it may suck to stay stuck and miserable, but that can actually seem like the easier choice at first…
For example, break-ups/divorce can feel so intense.
Maybe it seems easier not to date anyone and just live your life alone.
Or maybe it seems easier to keep the mundane desk job instead of starting up your dream business.
Or maybe you avoid getting too close to people so you don’t get hurt or risk losing them and feeling grief.
There are times when it may not feel so easy and worth the struggle, but in order to be who you’re meant to be, you need to tread the mountain to see the beautiful view.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”~Anaïs Nin
It makes us question if the hard work is worth it. It leaves us feeling vulnerable and lonely. We are more prone to heartache and mistakes. But life isn’t meant to be simple all the time. We are supposed to grow, learn, make mistakes, let go, and find ourselves through it all.
To be honest with you, this past year and half has personally felt downright HARD. There has been some ease and joy but there has been some tough stuff going on.
It’s made me question the whole, “Life can flow with ease”, because sometimes, it just doesn’t. Many of these things have not felt in my control whatsoever.
There has been sickness and death in my family.
I was (finally) diagnosed with two complex health issues that cannot be quickly resolved by medication, meditation or even healthy eating. It affects my daily life and energy. (More on this later)
I’ve been trying to run two growing businesses while being there for clients, family, friends, employees, pets, and of course my own self-care.
I have been deeply hurt in friendships.
My sensitivity is becoming more and more heightened.
Politics. Enough said.
Because of this, I’ve cried way more than I have in awhile.
Not to mention, my marriage has been tested with all of this.
There has been a TON of releasing and embracing. There have been days when I have had to ask for signs that it’s all going to be be okay.
There are no magic words to get you through. Things like, “everything happens for a reason” or “time will heal” don’t fix it.
I know that all of this is teaching me to love, trust, have hope and faith and just do the best I can each day. It's teaching me the act of patience in a fast-paced world.
It’s giving me so much gratitude for the people I have and the people I have lost. It’s giving me appreciation for people who have been helping me through. It’s giving me a chance to understand my own worth and intuition. It’s allowing me to love more deeply and fully and smile at others more often since we never know what they may be going through.
“Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle” ~Socrates
No matter what is going on in your life right now, believe that it’s working out.
If you resist it, it will feel even harder and never-ending. Embrace the change. Hug loved ones. Take a stand for your health and well-being. Help a stranger. Be truthful with yourself and others. Ask for what you need. Talk it out. Pray. Whatever it is to make it feel a little easier.
Most importantly, continue to put yourself out there. Go on a date. Quit your draining job. Write a love note to a dear friend. Move somewhere warm.
Keep on rolling through this thing called life. There is an ebb and flow but it will allow you to be a better parent, sibling, friend, teacher, neighbor, etc. We are in a time where we need more kindness and compassion than ever.
“When I was about six years old I received an essential teaching from an old woman sitting in the sun. I was walking by her house one day feeling lonely, unloved, and mad, kicking anything I could find. Laughing, she said to me, ‘Little girl, don't you go letting life harden your heart.’
Right there, I received this pith instruction: we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.”~Pema Chödrön, from The Pocket Pema Chödrön
Don't let life and other's reactions harden your heart. Continue to be your kind-hearted self no matter what life throws at you.
With hope,
Shayna
P.S.
My dear friend and grief coach, Laura Jack, has written a book called The Compassion Code: How To Say the Right Thing When the Wrong Thing Happens. For years we have discussed what to say in difficult situations and she has brilliantly made it into a book. I highly recommend it and am honored to be used as a reference in it!
P.P.S.
HOPE Spray is now ready to ship!
This spray has personally helped me to find ease within the chaos. Learn more + purchase now here.
