Why I have been Pissed off in Yoga (It's not what you think)

Yoga, it's not you.

It's me.

We may need to slow things down a bit.

I just feel we've been moving too fast lately,

It's not like it used to be.

It doesn't feel so fun and energizing.

It feels a bit discouraging and frustrating.

But again, it's me and not you.

You may or may not know that yoga has helped me through anxiety, grief and much more throughout the past 7 years. It has given me focus, breathwork, mantras, balance, appreciation, confidence, connection and more. It's been powerful for both my body and mind, as well as my social life.

I love yoga. I have been going to vinyasa flow advanced heated classes, which have made me push myself to a whole new level. They have helped me to focus on the present moment while I use my breath. They have allowed me to take a break from my growing businesses and work on my self-care. (A coach has to walk her talk, right?!)

However, last week I was staring down at my bolster next to my mat and I wanted to PUNCH it.

Everyone around me is breathing and going with the flow and there I am wanting to run out of the studio while screaming at the top of my lungs punching my purple bolster.

Why? Yoga is supposed to relax us, not make us angry, right?

Well, I have been going through some health stuff and my body is healing. It's been a long process since it literally took years to get diagnosed and there is no simple treatment. It's super complicated and makes daily life a little harder than I'd like.

(Heard of SIBO? That's part of it. I'll share more when I can put my thoughts and experiences into words)

I am used to being motivated, energized and passionate about the day. I have ideas and dreams floating through my head and I love to put them into action.

I don't like to sit down and rest.

I rarely nap.

I like to move my body.

I like to feel strong and healthy.

I like to be clear and focused.

Recently, but especially this last week, I have felt weak, unfocused and unbalanced.

Apparently my body is wanting me to slow down and my mind has not been convinced.

I am used to being able to jump into chataranga, throw in some double push-ups, practice fun arm balances and play around with new advanced poses. It's been an awesome challenge that I look forward to every few days.

But my body has barely even wanted to do downward dog recently!

Truthfully, it pisses me off. I think anyone with a health concern or injury can relate.

You go from being able to do things, to your body all of a sudden saying, "Wait. Hold up. That's not working right now. You just have to be patient".

Ah.

Seriously?

So another practice in patience, huh?

I guess that is one of my big lessons in this lifetime...

Why am I even sharing a frustrated post with you since I try to give inspiration when possible?

Because I'm not perfect.

My body isn't always in the best health it can be.

There are times when I feel some intense emotions.

I get angry.

I get sad.

I feel lonely.

I am human after all.

But I am learning to be gentle with myself. I can go to yoga and take it easy. Or maybe just walk my dog. Or maybe go try a tai chi class.

Yoga is absolutely for my mind, but it has also been my main form of exercise for quite awhile. (I am not a fan of the gym or equipment. I have no idea what I'm doing and a neck injury makes it all super uncomfortable).

Yoga has been my go-to activity for years and right now I'm not feeling so excited about it.

And that's okay.

I just need to meet myself where I'm at.

I want my body to recover fully so I know taking care of myself needs to be a priority.

I guess I just need to give myself permission to rest and slow down. One day I'll be back to where I was, but my health has to come first.

Thanks for reading. This little vulnerable b**** session made me feel better. It puts things into perspective and shows me how I shouldn't take my body for granted.

And I know people are dealing with way worse right now. I just thought this may give you some hope if you've ever felt held back by your body.

Recently I posted this photo of me on Instagram doing child's pose in my living room sharing how I need to give my body more credit. I received this message from @klcartermodeling:

"I needed to read this after having to relearn to walk there are days I still think I should be able to get my leg up that high or I should be able to hold that pose because I used to be able to. Reminding myself that it's ok to need to go back to basics is something I struggle with. You look beautiful, sending good vibes and love."

See? We're not alone. We just gotta keep going and doing what we can and give ourselves more credit along the way.

xoxo,